I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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