You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
