Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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