I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
