I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
