I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
