I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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