I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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