McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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