K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
