I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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