Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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