It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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