i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
this hospital has no fireball
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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