oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
