Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
