Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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