were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
