no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
