WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
