did you get engaged???
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
