let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
