just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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