my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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