just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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