no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Alive.
So much puke
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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