also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
