I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
