Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
