HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
