Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
