So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
