he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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