This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
