you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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