I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
