Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
