Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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