Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Mom said you looked used
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
