She's JV to your varsity
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
