I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just found puke in my bra..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Pants are for mortals
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
