I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
