Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
