he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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