You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
