Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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