A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
