I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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