You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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