I could have mohawked her pubes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
