I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
