Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
