I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
