Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
