Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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